The Ever Evolving Self

I reflect on the past year, many changes, and challenges in the world, I witness the strain on my daughters and son-in laws raising children trying to juggle family, work, and anxious about national and world events that never entered my radar when raising my two daughters.

Fortunate at age sixty-seven to be afforded opportunities I never could have imagined or dreamed–to be called an author, speaker, figure skater, besides my proudest roles as mother and grandmother aka “Nini.” I find myself conflicted with the roles and the changing times, staying true to myself, needing to embrace the speed of technology, and seems like time is racing by and I want it to slow down.

Never a fan of technology, not wired for technology, struggle with the nuances of technology, I prefer interpersonal communication. What happened to a human conversation or a telephone call?  I can’t feel the pulse of friends through a text or email. In their voice or in person I hear or see their true feelings and see the emotions in their eyes.

The subject of my memoir is grief, a difficult topic for folks to talk about. If individuals meet me in person, hear me speak, then they understand, and many can relate on some level and share, contemplate on their own sister or sibling relationships. Another avenue I feel comfortable to communicate is through writing, a blog, a newsletter, an essay. I am leery posting about myself, being the center focus, a private person. The need to step out of my comfort zone, and readers wanting to know about me. The process is slow, developing, learning a new skill with encouragement and support of many. Charting a fresh course, defining a new me, exciting, exhilarating, daunting, and empowering. The old question, what do I want to be when I grow up? A time to grow and learn.

I hope over the Christmas break to pause and rethink my goals, personally and professionally, not resolutions. I hope to develop a system to plan better, schedule into an unscheduled life. Give myself grace and loosen up the expectations. Make a system of some checks and balances and now that COVID has exited our lives explore more traveling.

To all have been with since the journey began in 2011 my deepest gratitude. For those prior, those whom I met in recent years, you are all a gift. I would not be where I am today. Family, friends, colleagues, you collectively shape who I am today.

Wishing you and yours Happy Holidays and I hope the New Year will bring everyone peace, and time to enjoy precious gifts from them, and compassion for others.